I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
