Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
