I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
