Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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(360): View more from Washington

Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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(925): View more from California

IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE

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(702): View more from Nevada

Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

(503): View more from Oregon

You made out with EVERYBODY.

(702): View more from Nevada

Can I just bleach my life?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.

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(360): View more from Washington

i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$

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(850): View more from Florida

I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.

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(714): View more from California

Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.

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