so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
