my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
