yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i need some magic done to my vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dear god my vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
