Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
