thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
