A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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