we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize