So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
