Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
