I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
