is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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