HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
