Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
