i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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