She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
