i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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