therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
