My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
