Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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