I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
