Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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