So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
