when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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