think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
