ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
