the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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