I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
