im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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