That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
