awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
