Small penises have feelings too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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