I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
