cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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