the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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