so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
third nipple confirmed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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