69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
