You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
