i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
