wanna go halves on a baby?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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