whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
MIDGETS
????
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
