Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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