I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just forgot I was standing up.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
