Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize