she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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