So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
