obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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