you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
