Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
