i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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