I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
