Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This baby is an asshole
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
