It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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