She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize