And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
