So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
