Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
