Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
