break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i love accidental penises.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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