batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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