wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
