girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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